the girl with her dog.

i saw so many underaged smokers today. i don't know whether to be surprised or not to.
carrie said that they're everywhere and you see them everyday.
strangely enough, i never seen underaged smokers. it's funny.

i observed the relationship between mickey and wang, they didn't care about each other.
yes, they shared a little snuggle but still, it was as nothing was between them.
well, until, they really wanted each other.

they have such a funny relationship.
why can't i care like that?

after joyce left, carrie and i talked on the playground. we didn't notice that a bunch of guys were in the void deck, talking. it felt as if we were telling them our secrets.
i didn't care what they thought, i laughed like a crazy maniac even though i think one of them looked cute. until, another one of them whipped out a cigarette.

oh well.
i did something stupid next, while i was walking home, i carried wang past a bunch of people at the bus stop.
and they all stared at me.

does it help that i wasn't wearing my spectacles?
no, not at all.

-

and if you leave here, you'll leave me broken, shattered, alive.

i think i'm still too young to understand all of this.
what's love to a teenager?


my mum nagged at me about my mattress, saying how the bedbugs have come back once again.
i've become so used to killing them, i remember seeing one on the wall of my parents' room, it was a big one and i wanted to kill it. so, i ripped a piece of paper and whacked it.
except, it fell to the floor..

i don't know why i like to squeeze them and see the blood they've sucked from my family come out of their tiny little bodies.
usually it's brown liquid because i think it's mixed with their body or the blood was going into their bodies.

i'm such a sicko.

lately, i've been killing the bedbugs in my room and it's scary to see your own red blood on your fingers.
and all over the bed.

now i have permanent tiny red blood stains on the sides of my mattress which eventually will dry and turn brown.
oh god, i hate those stupid bloodsuckers.

sleep attack.

I'm finally done reading Kafka On The Shore by Haruki Murakami.
It was thought-provoking and some parts were very quite censored.

I suppose when I was done reading, it was already 7pm.
So, I went to bed for a nap and woke up at 7:07am.

Gosh.
Thirteen hours of sleep, are you kidding me?

And I think a grew a little.
I have tendancies to exaggerate my height-measuring without knowing so I think I'll compare my height with Carrie later.

My stomach is growling.
My parents are asleep.
And my sister is nowhere to be seen.
I think she went clubbing. <_<

too many joelyns in this world

the more i see
the less i know
the more i'll like to let it go

- red hot chilli peppers

yes, that's exactly how i feel right now.

anyway, i waited two hours for carrie. kind of crazy right?
well, that's what a person with no life does. just stay in the canteen, do homework and be really restless.
then move to another table and finally under the staircase.
with more homework and restlessness.

i was really daydreaming eventually when it was 5:10pm, everything behind me was deserted, it was so quiet and eerie.
but it felt nice to hear the silence and the rain.

a secondary one girl was yelling my name today, i turned my head. obviously.
she was screaming it actually. really loudly.
she was calling her friend and after a minute of nothing, she started yelling it again.

she made me realise that my name isn't that original and at this rate, my name is going to be a common name soon. ):
maybe it's just the spelling of my name that's special but that's it.

hey, maybe i'll change my name to francina or joei.

-

i feel so amateur posting this.

this is called procrastination. :)

because.

these photos are all taken by me.

some of them have been posted without permission by my sister on facebook, i feel really sad that she did that.

everything was taken on 13th of february.

we hung out at starbucks with sindy and i was taking photos at an exhibition near the cafe until a guard told me to stop taking photos unless he had to ask his supervisor..

it was weird.

the rose was from a woman at this new food court we wandered in, i suppose it was a gift to celebrate the food court's opening.

that was more weird.

weird bad friday.

aye, bellyn.

Bellyn says:
colldddd
Bellyn says:
mr cooool guy
Bellyn says:
mr ice cream
♠. joelyn says:
LOL
Bellyn says:
"Hey Joelyn which flavour do you want?"
♠. joelyn says:
LOL


:)

blaand.

Bedbugs have invaded my room.
They really like blood type A, i wonder if they know I'm stick thin and the more blood I lose, I'm probably going to die of lack of blood and leave behind a shell of a short thin cute human being.

And there'll probably be an exaggerated article of my death on the New Paper.

"Jaime Cheng (Name not real as she is a juvenile) was found dead in her room on Saturday morning. Police has called it an unnatural death but suspect it may be caused by anorexia or bullimia. She has died in her sleep, shocking her family members. Her mother found her body when she wanted to wake her up. Her sister believes her death may be caused by a boy Jaime likes in school.
Police is still investigating the case."

Sorry for the horrible fake article, I'm feeling really uninspired right now since my legs won't stop being itchy. ):
Carrie and I were talking about something today, ending it off firmly not to be ever be spoken and suddenly, Mr Osman's voice boomed,"I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!"
It was such a coincidence we started laughing like crazy.

Wooo.
Now I'm off to go kill some insignificant crazy blood-sucking brown insects.
They're like vampires but a thousand times uglier.

Oh yeah, today Edwin sabotaged me into a debate during English.
The girls kept rebutting even though they weren't suppose to and the opposition (i was in the preposition) kept screaming,"STOP REBUTTING!"
So, I decided to grab a marker and draw a smiley with a bunch of really random taglines on the whiteboard.

"Lol."
"I'm fake-smiling."
"My jaw hurts."
"LET ME REBUTT"

No one noticed.
They were far too busy screaming.

/

We had a seminar today.
We had to take a test.

They said that my linguistics was my best talent.
Are you kidding me? I am good at language and writing but no, not really.
If I am, I'll be doing really awesome at chinese and I'm failing right now.

Tests are such liars.

I hope they catch on fire.
And then hung on a telephone wire.

Ah, I think it's better off for them to be recycled.

Click.

I had photography training today.
Three trainers entered the IT lab, two ladies and a man. The first impressions didn't go well.

And before that, I kinda tripped on the step and entered the lab with a thud and everyone stared at me. .__.
It was boring and interesting at the same time. Pretty much, we used the toilet break as a time to slack, Farahin and I walked real slow and watched the uniform groups practice for Total Defence Day.
I guess you could say everyone saw my macro photography even though they didn't know it was me. I nearly laughed at my own photos, don't ask why, it was really random. (:

s o n g

This song is somewhat inspiring to me.

If it all goes wrong, we walk.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Hey, I'm celebrating it with my dog.
Who's being wonderfully gay and lovesick.
No, I never celebrate this occasion.
Not really.

I want to walk her today but I fear to see couples everywhere I go.
I had enough of seeing them yesterday while I was with my sister.

So, while my sister is going to a party tonight and my parents are just gonna spend more time together or pretend Valentine never existed, I'm just tapping on the keyboard, staring at the screen.
And my computer is in a coma, it refuses to work anymore. ):
I found a method to fix it but I don't know the anatomy of a computer hard drive. -_-




Sigh.
I'm going to write myself a sad poem and cry in horror at all things Valentine.

I don't like my sister anymore.
She doesn't understand copyright.

Wang. My public journal.

What to say, my life's been really dead.

Ahh..

sigh.

This is a wonderful negative space.

I hate saturdays.
It's those days when I really have nothing to do except mundane things such as homework and fumble at my faults.

I hate how I lost my contact lense, it probably fell into the sink.
And I kept falling asleep last night, I felt so tired and lazy and useless. Like a dead person.
A zombie.

I wake up today at ten odd, messaging random friends and listen to love songs.
Then I ate a nasi lemak and watched random television.

I really hate puppy love.
I think it's because I've always been attracting weird people or the people that I've liked are just never who I think they will ever be.

Yesterday, Wang recieved three comments about her cuteness and I recieved one.

Mini mart uncle: So cute!
Joelyn: Erm, thanks.
Uncle: I didn't mean the dog, I meant you.
Joelyn: Err..

It was funny.
Okay, I'll go force myself to do some schoolwork now.

If we could just be immobile for some time and finally figure out the way we feel
About the missing puzzle pieces and cloudy question marks that still look a bit surreal

- I'll Meet You There, Owl City

-

bring me down to earth.

i'm confused like a person stuck in a maze.

maybe i'll throw all these feelings to the books.

i'm also partly writing a murder novel, it was something that popped into my brain in class.

Photo taken by Carrie. (again, lol.)

hello schoolgirl.

Today was a wonderful to play dead.
Carrie, Joyce and I were bored. Really bored.

I didn't have the mood to study. I just felt dead tired.

People say I'm cute.
I'm not at all!

Well, I suppose if I am, cutesy poses don't work well with me.

Cute + Cute = EWW

See what I mean? I look like road kill from that point of view.

All photos taken by Carrie.

sparks flew but they hit the wall and died.

I had no ideas today. Then I decided to grab all of my seventeen magazines.
That's today inspiration.

My guitar teacher had an interesting conversation about illegal things today. It was funny.

I saw someone today.
He was with his brothers. He is still ugly. I don't know why I even used to like him, something went wrong with me when i knew him in primary school. Something did happen but I killed it.
I didn't mean to.
Can you still like a person if he said,"I like you too," but he tells you he also liked someone else? And he knows how you feel but yet he just tells you his feelings about her?
And expect you to be there if that girl rejects him?

Jerk.

I was listening to my music with my family and I was so glad I was listening to I Can Do Better by Avril Lavigne at that time. I felt so much better.

Anyway, I sort of borrowed my cousin's classical guitar. I love her guitar, it has a really awesome scorpion on it.