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and if you leave here, you'll leave me broken, shattered, alive.

i think i'm still too young to understand all of this.
what's love to a teenager?


my mum nagged at me about my mattress, saying how the bedbugs have come back once again.
i've become so used to killing them, i remember seeing one on the wall of my parents' room, it was a big one and i wanted to kill it. so, i ripped a piece of paper and whacked it.
except, it fell to the floor..

i don't know why i like to squeeze them and see the blood they've sucked from my family come out of their tiny little bodies.
usually it's brown liquid because i think it's mixed with their body or the blood was going into their bodies.

i'm such a sicko.

lately, i've been killing the bedbugs in my room and it's scary to see your own red blood on your fingers.
and all over the bed.

now i have permanent tiny red blood stains on the sides of my mattress which eventually will dry and turn brown.
oh god, i hate those stupid bloodsuckers.