FLEH.

i think i ranted enough today.

no, not i think. i did. i feel so wronged and angry and sad and mad and i feel like some damn paradox because i'm contradicting myself entirely.

i told myself to forgive.

i told myself to love despite what people do to me.

but it's so hard you know, it's so hard when you don't know how one small mistake can end up with you being scolded in front of the class and being taunted by a classmate who you treated so nicely.

the bible says we should treat people the way we want them to treat us. then why does this happen?

and it's hard. when you do something wrong and you draw a line because you're multitasking and your teacher scolds the shit out of you and tells you to grow up but all you did was erase an entire chart and draw a line. what did i do wrong? erasing something, not listening to you because i believe in my own decision making and drawing a line, multitasking, is it wrong? is it so wrong?

i am trying so hard not to swear right now.

but it isn't easy. nothing is. i had a long day. i am tired. i printed fourteen pages just for this subject. but what if i get rejected again and scolded again.

lately, reality makes me feel like there's no room for mistakes.

it's either you get it and if you screw up, then you're screwed. i hate it but i'm starting to judge you. you don't even remember my name. heck, you're biased and today you just convinced the shit out of me that you really are.

but you know what, since you're always forgetting my name, i rather be known as The Girl Who You Scolded Because She Apparently Wasn't Paying Attention To You.

i do okay. i do. we make mistakes. we all do. .__.