argshfsg.

THIS IS ANOTHER RANT. I GUESS IT'S PMS.
okay, here's the part where i go, i seriously fail as a friend.

you know, being good in english doesn't necessarily mean i'm good with words. it doesn't mean i'm good at consoling people or encouraging them and i really suck at saying the right things at the right time. and i don't know what the heck is going on with me but my moods are going downhill, i feel like shit, people are getting to me and the past is like this recorded movie playing in my head.

it's all back to square one again and it sucks like hell. i'm trying to be positive but i just can't. sometimes i can't help to wonder,"huh, what did i do last time that makes you dislike me?" i'm not meant to be here to please you but sometimes you can't help but wonder what you do irks others and they can't be bothered to tell you what bothers them and sometimes, they don't understand what they do really really really hurts. it's crap.

i feel so trapped. and i don't even know why.

do you know it's scary when you wake up at 7:20pm and you realise you're all alone at home in the dark and you woke up because you heard someone call you in your dream to wake up because if you don't, you pretty much waste your evening? sigh.
my mum can't write me a letter of excuse for last tuesday and miss shee is hunting me down like some freaking target. i am so frustrated that my mum openly ignores me.

gosh. i just want to shut off from everything right now.