love in new wave.

i miss people.

i truly, really, miss people.

i miss how this person used to be. i miss spending time with another person.

if i had an ability, i would time-travel because all i want to do is to live in those good memories again.

but all i have are memories.

one day, i will forget all these good memories. i will lose those things that remind me of these memories. i will forget these people that i've loved and i will forget. forget.

forget.

crescendo descendo

sometimes when you miss something you wanted so much because of certain circumstances and unluckiness and end up spending your night alone while everyone you know is at raffles jubliee hall, it can either be a really good, bad or neutral night.

so, i think in my previous posts, i wrote how much i wanted to go to crescendo. like some psychopath. and today i spent my day in school hoping a ticket would fly out of the sky and into my hands and i would jump for joy. or some random student would feel so generous and give me their ticket. yeah, right. it didn't happen. so i ended up moping at home thinking how i was gonna waste my time on such a friday and i ended up sleeping on it. hm. then my mum didn't know i was home and didn't buy me dinner and i'm sick of eating tv dinners because i hate microwaving salmon and rice which is really weird. yeah.

then my sister came home with her crazy eye makeup her friend inspired her to wear. and she looks scary because of her spectacles and i really want to be frank about it and scream,"DANGIT YOU LOOK LIKE MEDUSA WHO WANTED TO BE TEACHER AND SCARE EVERYONE WITH YOUR EYES EXCEPT THEY DON'T TURN INTO STONE!" but of course i don't really say that and i don't even end up saying anything. she was being really bitchy lately so it's like a dry season in my family. no one really talks, it's just like "mmh, ya, ya." and then she thought i was being really emo because she didn't let me go online. uhh, no, i wasn't, it was because i couldn't go to crescendo. which is also rather stupid, i realised. oh well.

i ended up making an outfit for tomorrow. i think it'll look nice. hmmm.

i miss taking pictures but my sister loaned the camera out to a friend and who knows when the camera will return. maybe yixin was right, when the week is for lower secondary assembly, the week sucks. this week been terrible. : \

is it possible that personality traits are herditary? if mood swings are then what about that? i wish i knew why the heck we have so many problems and i hate that it's linked to money. okay.

oh yes, i just finished washing my clothes and usually people throw the water in the pail onto the floor or into the toilet bowl right? i'm left with one sock. i think i accidentally flushed the second sock down the toilet. crap. my mum wanted to kill me, ahha. now you can laugh at me. :w

there goes two bucks. i__i

(and i really did write this on friday but i posted it on saturday hahaha what)

sunday screamings

i just finished washing my uniform. at 10:50pm. on a sunday night.
where school begins like, nine hours from now. then this question may pop up in your mind,"what the eff, are you mad, they won't dry in time! then somemore, why wash so late ah?!" firstly, if you don't know me, i'm really lazy. not really lazy, extremely lazy and i'm stubborn. usually. so um, i ignore my mum's nagging a lot. so when she nags on friday and saturday about my uniform, i'll just mutter,"ya la, ya la, i know la, i'll do it la." which really just translates to "uh, whatever you just said it'll be recorded into this space in the back of my head till someone reminds me or till i remember it on the day before school and then i'll do it."

and tonight've been a really awfully quiet night, which is weird. haha. maybe i just haven't been noticing it a lot. so lately, i've been confused, upset, weirded out, gotten more confused, enlightened and really just plainly, i've been confused to the extent that my blog title got renamed. -pokes the top of my blog-
so while i'm singing to sunday morning while its ironically a sunday night, i'll tell you what happened in the toilet while i was washing the clothes. i started talking to myself. it was a really nice commentary about boys and confusion and how short i was and technically i was literally screaming out my frustrations about how stupidly i left my school shoes to collect dirt for the past two months and that the dirt wouldn't get off. that commentary was awesome, too bad no one heard it, only the probable neighbours in the toilet, doing God knows what.

sigh. so i was dancing on the slippery toilet floor, making fun out of the constant skidding that i told myself out loud,"Hah, later I'll fall down." i didn't actually believe i would. but then it actually did. i was singing placebo's what it's worth and i was about to step out of the toilet when one little slip caused me to bang against the door from my back and i somehow magically turned and fell into the pail. full of soapy water. i screamed. for the fifth time. or the sixth, seventh, not sure, i don't do math when i'm random. and my foot hurts.

i got a blue black, my shorts got wet and i am delusional.

that fall was of epic failure. if it was videotaped, i think it'll be really funny to watch. now i'm just watching my uniform dry via evaporation.

stare what stare what

I HAVE TENDENCIES TO REMOVE THINGS.

hmm. there was speech day yesterday, i went okay. besides the fact that the guy who shook my hand and gave me the award was so cold and mean and i got a bit annoyed.
man: good morning.
me: hai. :D
man: -_-
then, suddenly, he said to the guy behind me,"YOU'RE NOT SMILING!"

and i was like. woah, okay, maybe you got off the bed at the wrong side yesterday morning but geez! i really expected a : ) and a congratulations not a dull dull dull..reaction. meh, but we can't expect everything right?

woo, lame rant!

friday fences.

FRIDAY FENCES

hola hola.

i had an awesome friday! sometimes, these are the kind of days that i wish i could relive again when i want to. and if i could relive that day again, i wanna drag along my camera because it would be a photo album of that entire day.

i don't think you really want to know all the details. (unless you think i am stalker-friendly but thus i am not. HAH THAT WAS LAME TO SAY) i think i can say it all started during physics, when mr chung thought yixin raised her hand to call him but instead he was merely witness to her whacking me.

which she then took the advantage of whacking me. thrice. D:

she whacks damn hard okay. :c

we had friday assembly about fencing.

which i had to think fencing = fence.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SO LAME. (cool fence though)

then, i hung out at yixin's place with some girlssss and we ate pizza and played the wii and talked crap and laughed and it was fun. then i realised i swear a lot when it comes to driving cars in the wii. okay, i think i get why guys love driving games so much. (blah blah blah there goes my inner nerd) I LEARNT HOW TO DRIFT. YEAH. how happy was i yo.

then i fled the area when my hair decided to screw up. okay, not really, when we all left, my hair just screwed up. okay, my hair screws up every single minute. hmm. i had dinner with my church buddies and it was awesome! though i'm very broke now.

again. diana/carrie please hack me later.

I FINALLY GOT TO MEET DIANA AND CELEBRATE HER BIRTHDAY. YEAH.

AND I FELT SO REMINISCENT. YEAH. maisarah and danial were thereee. the details would bore you to death and there were some screaming, laughing and secrets and funny points but i'm talking crap right now because i'm highhh. oh, there was this moment when i forgot danial took my phone and i freaked out because i thought i left it at mcdonalds. -_-

okay, we began at mcdonalds and seriously, diana and danial could be siblings and i would totally believe it. and we walked and walked and walked. i make no sense. because, i really don't wanna explain my day, i'm suckishly boring at doing so.

you should ask me personally. :D

oh blah blah blaash. i just rambled agaaain. i will regret this tomorrow when i reread this.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

this predicament cannot get any worser.

it did. it really did.

i'm completely uncontactable! really! unless i'm online.

don't try to call me, don't try to text me. you'll get that computerised voice going.

"You have reached the number of (number here or i think it's this gay recording of me screaming banana), please leave a message after the tone. BEEP" my poor phone, it's been two weeks!

i'm like, staring at my phone, hoping it'll vibrate with a message but then i realised it's dead. DEAD! i hate dead phone lines.

maybe it was because a middle aged woman screamed at this teenage boy on his bike, who sped past her and accidentally whacked her arm and she screamed,"BASTARD!" at him that shook me a bit. maybe it's because i'm really tired and situations and people aren't my cup of tea for now.

I KNOW HOW TO DO MY POA HOMEWORK. YEAH.

yes no yes no yes

i'm broke now, i don't know how i did it, i'm kinda baffled myself.
hmm, baffle sounds like waffle. mm, chocolate waffles. ;__;

NO I DIDN'T BUY WAFFLES OKAY. I WAS NOWHERE NEAR A PLACE THAT SOLD ANY. i'm just the kind of person who splurges/buys anything that goes to my liking. it's so damn random. and diana, who usually is there to watch my wallet cry in horror would say,"DON'T BUY. YOU DON'T NEED IT." and i'll try to fight against the temptations but i'll still end up with something. hahha. i'll make lame excuses like "I NEED IT", "ITS CHEAP", "IT'S SO CUTE AND CHEAP.". which is kinda hopeless. -_-"

today i was on fire. (not literally.)

i'm glad i was. i'm not making sense today.

nmh says:

*bellyn teach me on how to act like a gay

*0 u 0

Bellyn says:

*arent you already rather gay?

♠. joelyn (R) says:

*you can start with that

*xD

*LOL

nmh says:

*thank you

*-drops down and faints-

*am i?!

♠. joelyn (R) says:

*LOL

maybe someday, we'll figure all this out.

today i learnt you can't advice someone till you've been in that situation yourself.

and that you can't go around, judging what someone's doing and say,"what the, that's stupid what they're doing to themselves." until you felt it yourself. seriously.

and it's so damn screwy how my weeks have been lately, so damn screwy.

i'm losing control of every crappy thing possible, it's getting to a point that i really don't know what to do anymore. (wah lao emo) it's like i go to school, thinking, "oh crap how i spent my money till i only have this much left?!" and i'm thinking what kind of issues we're all facing and it came to one point.

money money money money money

money's so fucked. mind my language.

okay, once this phase is over i swear i won't let money screw my life.

or relationships.

i'm too lazy to upload anything.

oh yeah, today i went across the road to buy a drink. so it started to drizzle and i'm like,"hmm, should i go to the shelter or just walk under the rain?" i walked under the drizzle.

then it got heavier then i just strolled along like nobody's business. and i was getting slightly soaked and then it came to a point i thought,"shelter? but i'm already wet so what's the point?"

it's like when you're late but you can't decide whether to go slow because you're already late or go fast because you're damn kiasu and you still wanna be there 'earlier' even though you're late.

then i saw this huge bird under a tree, it was bigger than a pigeon. and it was a really pretty bird. i felt like it came out of a black and white film. and yes, i was being a freak in the rain in a uniform with a red plastic bag going "oh my gosh, that is one awesome bird!"

i'm thinking of saying singlish for a week and see whether my english drops. hm.

brimming killer plastic

oh god, i hate dnt. what's dnt you may ask?

(yeah everyone knows what is but if you ever never heard of it then here's a very simple explanation why am i even explaining uh i also don't know)

dnt is design and technology. my sister calls it the technical side of art.

you sketch, you draw ideas but you have to actually bring the design to life. which is fucking hell really. D: you do measurements, that's okay. you have to find out what materials to use, sketch 2345325 times and etc etc. i'm actually pretty fine with the drawing sketching, the ideation the everything.

i just can't bring the design to life.

bring me to a machine and you can hear the artefact screaming like i'm that saw guy killing peoplez. except i don't feel good about it.

ask me to cut plastic i give you deformed plastic. serious.

ask me to cut wood in a curved line, i give you the saddest piece of wood with the ugliest cut ever. I AM SERIOUS. REALLY.

i really don't know the anatomy of a machine even if the demostration's there. i just nod, "yeah yeah yeah" but it goes out of my head.

oh well, i can't be good in everything, can't i?

i'm just glad i haven't killed anyone today.

my lovely piece of plastic is deformed, all scratched and rough. i had to get a lot of help and my classmates were saying,"you cut wrong already!!!" and i'm like,"i'm sad okay okay :c"

and karissa, sorry i laughed at that bun thing. i was being random. D:

i think i apologised a lot during dnt, i felt so frustrated. then my mind shut down on me. i couldn't even do homework for my favourite subjects. i couldn't think. nothing. like it blanked out on me. hahah.

AND YES ABOUT THE GENTING TRIP.

I MIGHT BE MEETING BELLYN AND MEI HUEY YES. AND THEN WE CAN GO TO THE THEME PARK AND EAT MCFLURRIES THOUGH I DON'T LIKE MCFLURRIES AND RIDE THE ROLLERCOASTER AND TALK TALK TALK. YEAH GENTING.

then again, i might write sooner or later. "they couldn't make it."

hope not. but anything could happen.

oh yes, like the new playlist? i love it, it's really on replay in my itunes.

time to mull.

you know, over this weekend, i had to write two summaries about man-made disasters for english. really, i don't even how the heck i can stay online for i don't know...six hours, and not even fulfilling it. i blame those people on msn. (you know who you are D:)

i'm on my second summary now and now i realise i seriously hate writing summaries. actually, you would hate it too if you had to summarise from a wikipedia page. which has 324220520094234 words and dozens and dozens of tiny details and i adore tiny details so it's screwing me all over my whole damn computer roller chair. that sounded completely wrong. arghhhhh. i like english, i like to write but i just cannot. i hate, hate hate hate using already written content, where's the fun in that?!!

wangwang is missing my sister because she went on a one week school trip to malaysia and it feels so random whenever i feel something furry against my feet. ahah. has anyone heard 505 by arctic monkeys? it's so awesome when it reaches 2:31. it's already half way through the song but still.

woohoo! i'm going to a holiday to genting! even though it's only malaysia, it's the first holiday i'm getting for the first time..in ages. really. and i might be meeting bellyn which is really really really awesome! :D

curry donuts

♠. joelyn says:

*donut vs cheese

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*Donut

*:D

*I'm sure Danial'll agree

♠. joelyn says:

*donut.

*BECAUSE THERE IS A CHEESE DONUT

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*Ahahahaha

*-.-

♠. joelyn says:

*later got curry donut.

*ew.

*o_o

iDanial || ImOnFire! says:

*O_O

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*What the....?

iDanial || ImOnFire! says:

*-faints-

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*-faints with Dan-

♠. joelyn says:

*LOL

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*Curry + Donut = Wtf?

♠. joelyn says:

*curry + donut = food poisoning

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*-barfs-

-

♠. joelyn says:

*is it okay if i post that donut part on my blog? :D

iDanial || ImOnFire! says:

*Can, lol.

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*You adding the fainting part? lol

♠. joelyn says:

*yes

Ðΐαηα, ♥ says:

*Aw man

*-goes back to faint position-

iDanial || ImOnFire! says:

*-same-

love is a serial killer that you cannot charge in court.

ah, hi.

been awhile since i've actually written anything on this now grey space.

it's been a week since the holidays and all i've done is stay on the computer.

like a leech. sucking out blood. but it's the complete opposite, the computer is sucking me out.

like a soul sucker, you know?

ah, so i found the wonders of the sims 2.

then i found the wonders of cheap downloadable games. woooo.

they're really fun, i swear. :D

today's the streaming results. well, in a few hours from now since its 2:53am.

i'm not sure where i'm gonna go, but i guess i'll just go with the flow.

hey, that rhymes!

my mum bought me a new earpiece today.

i didn't realise it looked odd. hmm.

it looks like a failed design of an earpiece that managed to be produced and sold round the world.

but it sounds good. yeaah.