hello good morning.

2009 - May 2011

Memory lane. Things have changed and look how I changed hahha. :)

So mad at myself with my terrible trust issues and my judgements. :(

It's scary to come home to have you suddenly cry.

It's scary to come home and do some things and hear you scream and all these things.

It'll take time but I need to learn patience.

i would have made an ugly korean girl.

{♥}

*o*

oh yeah oh yeah

yesterday, studying like a slacker.

today i am eye bag monsterzilla teenager. -squint-

BITTER AGAIN

maybe you were the person you were so long ago. maybe as a child i couldn't even see that.

so naive. so shit naive.

-

throw all these things away

they don't matter anymore

you could make somebody's day

but you just choose not to

-

sigh, feeling so nauseated emotionally today.

what i feel is not what i know.

Dear emotions, I won't let you overwhelm me again. I won't let you win this night.

I think I'm losing a friend. I don't know. But it doesn't mean the right to mull all night. I'm tired.

bruised and battered

but You never left me.

i came across this photo i took of this post on tumblr in one of my files.

"Everyday, I fight back the urge to text you or talk to you. Telling myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would."

oh well, as a fifteen year old and stuff, you didn't get it. and i'm glad you didn't.

God broke my heart that day. He didn't really. He just showed me that if i continued to do what i wanted to do, i would be so hollow inside.

you didn't know initiative. and i can't stand that. i can't stand that.

i really can't. after that day with you, you took a week. a week.

if i still liked you then, i would have already drowned in endless thoughts. oh well.

now, i realised how wrong you were for me.

ah. well.

who needs a guy anyway? i'm a teenager!

i'm back to that phase of being a bad friend. helpless again.

nothing i can do. you won't tell me what's going on.

you read but you don't reply. who do you talk to?

who are you with?

hah. nobody knows. have you found somebody else who understands?

maybe i just don't get it.

just sayin'

be glad.

honestly, if you were still in singapore, i would have already killed you with my words.

you have to stop wanting things and even though, you were burying yourself in that state of self-pity, look at yourself. look at what you have now.

i'm glad you're happier now. you are happier now.

stop wanting, you should just stay still and realise how fortunate you are despite all the unfortunate things that have happened to you. be glad because you know somewhere else in this world, someone else is having it worser than you do.

and i'm sorry but it's unbelievable that despite all your complaining and self-pity, you got what you wanted. and you deserved it. but doing what you did, i wish you were the kind of person who would have persevered and said instead,"i'm happy with what i have and you know what? i'm going to do by best with all i have."

-

i want a surprise party on my birthday

but if i know it's a party then it's no surprise anymore

just sayin'

road two.

God is so good. So good.

Don't challenge.

stop trying to interfere with my life from afar.

why do i try so hard when it all falls to deaf ears?